Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Found this on friendster..and i thought of sharing wif u peeps out there...If you're currently in a relationship,
I have two
questions to ask you today:
1) How mature are you?
2) how mature is your partner?
The reason I ask you is
because maturity is an important
factor that often makes or breaks a
relationship. If the
"maturity gap" between a couple is too
great, there'll be
a lot of problems with the
relationship.
For example, if a man is
interested in raising a
family while a woman is still in
the "I want to party
every Friday night and dance with my
girl friends" stage,
chances are, things are not going to
work out in the long-
run.
Or, if a woman wants to focus
on building a future
while the man still acts like a
college boy and plays video
games for 6 hours a day, sooner or
later she'll think he's
a loser and leave for a more ambitious
man. (I see it happen
all the time...)
Of course, you may be
thinking, "But if this is a
problem...how did they
get together in the
first place?"
Well, first of all, in the short-term,
attraction
is the biggest factor. If two people
are attracted to each
other, they will not care about
maturity as much. But as
I've explained once they get
into a relationship, "Character"
and "Intimacy" will come
into play. A huge "maturity gap"
between the couple will
lead to little arguments, which over
time will lower the
attraction and kill the relationship.
Secondly, people change. Just
because your girlfriend
was an innocent, trouble-free girl two
years ago doesn't mean
she will still be the same person in
two more years. As
humans, we're constantly growing up
and re-evaluating our goals
and values in different areas of our
lives - if we're not lazy
"losers" anyway. (I know you're not!)
For example, a
common "complaint" that I hear from
my younger readers is that they get
dumped after their
girlfriends enter college or get a new
job.
Does it mean these women
are "liars" who didn't keep
their love vows?
I don't think so. They have
just moved on to a new
stage of their lives. The guys should
do the same and see
what's out there instead of just
clinging on to their
pasts. We all have to grow up some
time...
Or...take the guy going
through a midlife-crisis
who suddenly wants to become a rock-
star at the ripe age of
43. In this case, the person is
relapsing to an earlier
stage...and that's not going to be
very healthful to
the marriage or relationship. The wife
will either
leave him or he'll leave his wife to
pursue his rock-star
"dreams".
How about you? Are you ahead
or are you behind?
If you're WAY ahead, then be
patient. Think about
the relationship and see if it fits
your life-long goals.
Don't try to change your partner. It
won't work. People
have to mature on their own. Sort out
your own priorities
and see if this relationship is
actually good for you.
And if you are WAY behind your
girlfriend, then
you've got a lot of catching up to do.
A LOT of catching up...
Remember the golden rule: Grow
together, and you'll
have a better chance of staying
together.
